


morning thoughts

by AliceInIdolLand



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Mornings, Thinking too much, she's doing her best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 02:50:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14150325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceInIdolLand/pseuds/AliceInIdolLand
Summary: Yoshiko expected to awaken in darkness like she usually did.





	morning thoughts

Yoshiko expected to awaken in darkness like she usually did. From there, she would lay down for a few minutes, contemplating life and the day she had ahead of her. She’d hug her pillows and look at the posters on her walls or something like that, and then she would start her day.

Today had already started off differently than expected, Yoshiko knew this right away. As soon as she opened her eyes, there was a brightness that her room didn’t have, making Yoshiko groan in discomfort. As she moved to get up, the feeling of something anchoring her in place pulled her back down onto the bed. Startled, Yoshiko froze. Not knowing what else to do, she listened to her surroundings, eyes squeezed shut. What if something bad had happened and she'd been kidnapped? She hoped that wasn’t the case, what in the world would she do…

Her small moment of panic disappeared as she became attuned to her surroundings. Once she noticed the soft breathing and intense warmth of another human behind her, a blush rose to her face. It was soon followed by a soft smile, brought along by pure happiness. The arms encircling Yoshiko’s waist added to her current feelings of both embarrassment and joy. She couldn't help it, but she didn't hate it either.

Slowly, with care, Yoshiko removed herself from Mari’s grasp. Looking around a bit, Yoshiko finally recognized her surroundings. With how fancy everything looked, it could be no other place than Mari’s bedroom. With a content sigh, Yoshiko relaxed. This meant that the morning would be calm and relaxing, at least until Mari got all hyped up and ready for the day.

Yoshiko still couldn’t help but smile. Even though Yoshiko had always preferred quiet activities, going out with Mari had definitely brought change to her life. For better or for worse, she still couldn’t tell.

Still sitting on the bad, Yoshiko glanced over at Mari’s sleeping face. For someone who tried to do as much as possible while when she was awake, her sleeping face was quite different. Mari looked almost ethereal, Yoshiko often. As the blonde slept in peace, it almost seemed even truer. At moments like this, Mari seemed as close to heavenly as anyone could possibly get. It had always been far from the way Yoshiko felt about herself often felt.

Yoshiko scooted away from Mari’s body as quietly as possible. She resolved to stay on the bed, there didn’t seem to be anywhere else she wanted to go. Still, she tried to put some space between herself and her girlfriend. Although Yoshiko wished to admire Mari, if only a little more, she still tore her eyes away.

Her girlfriend had always been bright and shiny, ever since the first time Yoshiko had laid eyes on her. That much had never changed, not even after the pair started going out, not even after Mari had left for a long while. Even now that so many years had passed, Mari had become even shiner, if that could even be possible. Her smile had become a little brighter, her eyes seemed a little more beautiful. Even if they had always been far more vibrant than anyone else's, they were even better now. In short, Mari had always been perfect, she'd only grown into it more and more.

In comparison, Yoshiko could always see where she had been and continued to be lacking. Her high school years had been rough, this she knew. Even now that she had a job and had put so many of her inhibitions behind her, some things never seemed to go away. Her fallen angel persona hadn’t disappeared, Yohane still came out at times. Yoshiko knew she should do away with her other self completely but she could never bring herself to do it. There would always be how she stuttered at the worst times, the way her coordination failed her when she needed it most. The list went on and on, with Yoshiko adding new faults each and every day. Every time she reflected on something a little too long, she'd all sorts of new flaws. With all honesty, Yoshiko had never known why Mari had stuck around. She didn't even know why Mari had even agreed to be in a relationship with her in the first place. It seemed a bit too much to just say Mari was nice and leave it at that. Yoshiko didn’t deserve Mari, not at all. Mari had always deserved much better, much better than Yoshiko could ever give her.

Time passed and Yoshiko found herself drifting off into her thoughts even more. As she contemplated all the things she didn’t need to worry over, her hands rose. She began to fiddle with the bedsheets, although she really hadn't noticed that's what she was doing. After one particularly nasty thought, her hands pulled on the sheets rather roughly. Without noticing, she began tugging them to her side of the bed.

“Mm…” Mari woke up, wondering why her sheets were moving. She had never had a problem waking up, this time wasn't any different. The rustling of her sheets offered a little bit of an explanation, not enough for Mari to understand. Mari blinked once, then twice, to get rid of her grogginess. She turned over, slow as a snail, peering up at her girlfriend. One look told her all she needed to know. With a sad smile, Mari shook her head. This wouldn't be good. She reached her hands up and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. Using a bit of strength, she managed to pull herself up in the process.

“Huh?”

“Yoshi, you’re doing it again,” Mari mumbled, burying her head in the crook of Yoshiko’s neck. When the blonde received no immediate response, Mari looked up. The lingering redness on Yoshiko’s neck and cheeks gave away her embarrassment. The downcast look in her eyes also betrayed the fact that she felt disappointed with herself.

Mari adjusted her grip, pulling Yoshiko against her chest even tighter. “So? You wanna talk about it?”

“Ah…” Yoshiko shook her head, still avoiding eye contact with Mari.

“That’s alright. I’ll be here if you want to talk about it, though. But, know that whatever you were thinking wasn’t true either, okay?”

The young girl hesitated for a moment before nodding. She blinked once, twice, a third time for good measure, then turned her head to face Mari. “I know, I just-”

“I know exactly what you mean.” Mari interrupted, not letting Yoshiko finish her sentence. She spoke the truth, she did know exactly what Yoshiko had been doing to herself. Picking apart every interaction and hating yourself for it, Mari knew the feeling. “You don’t have to explain it me, I understand.”

Yoshiko stayed silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, how about we get ready for the day, hm?” Mari asked, her voice already taking on a more chipper sound, more like the voice she usually used. “I know exactly what we can do and I’m sure you’ll have fun with it too~!”

Yoshiko nodded, a real smile forming on her face. Mari always knew exactly what to do, she realized. It seemed to be part of the reason why she had always liked her girlfriend so much, why she trusted Mari so much. Yoshiko turned her head, pressing a soft kiss to Mari’s forehead.

“Let’s do it, then.” she murmured, her voice still soft. Today would be a good day, she decided, and nothing she thought would change that.

Mari smiled. One step at a time, she would help. It’s what she wished someone would have done for her, the one thing that really would have made a difference. She’d help Yoshiko, the one she loved, through it as best she could. That was the one thing she wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I tried writing something sweet and fluffy today, but it went down a different road... Still, I'm rather happy with the way this turned out~ Yoshiko and Mari's relationship is a rather complicated one, I'd imagine, and grownup Yoshiko is an interesting thing to think about on its own. I think I'd like to write more about her in the future, so please look forward to that~
> 
> Otherwise, thank you for reading, I really hoped you enjoyed~
> 
> ~~Read this on Tumblr here: https://alice-in-idol-land.tumblr.com/post/172421524013/morning-thoughts


End file.
